I’m not a lesbian, don’t flatter yourself.

I consider myself a friendly person and I don’t find it all that difficult to spark up a conversation with just about anyone. That’s probably why I did so well in customer service. For five years I worked at a family-owned, fine jewelry store. Being that it was a jewelry store, people always came in to have their jewelry cleaned, thus creating a situation where I would have to stand there, alone, with the customer while they waited for someone in back to steam-clean their items.  At first, when I was a 16 year old rookie, it was awkward… “Some weather we’re having, right?…” [Forced, awkward chuckle, looks around] But then, after a while, you just start talking about anything and everything you can. “Super cute purse!” or “Looks like you’re about to hit the gym, where do you go?” or .. well, really anything about that person’s appearance or my perception of them, because face it, everyone likes talking about themselves.

Point being, man, woman, child… I can come up with anything and end up getting into an in depth conversation. It’s not hard for me, and that’s probably why I have so much fun at parties, especially when I’m meeting new people. To me, new people equals new experiences, potential new friends, networking, and situations where you end up saying “Oh my god, this is such a small world!”

And the thing is, I’m completely genuine. I’m not a good liar, so I’m not going to say, hey that’s a really awesome hair cut and not mean it. However, there are people who are really put off by people like me. I live relatively close to Chicago, and most Chicagoans are assholes who avoid people at all cost.. (oh, and are dickhead drivers), so maybe it’s just that. Maybe if I lived in town like Mayberry, people wouldn’t think it was weird for me to be like, hey complete stranger, your plaid, turquoise Vans boat shoes are AWESOME, where did you get them?

So moving on… I was at the gym one late afternoon lifting some free weights and [side story: I have a few tattoos on my arms, and while I personally don’t want a full sleeve or anything, I do find tattoos pretty awesome and I’m super jealous of people who can pull them off.] Anyway, there was this girl, around my age, who was lifting too – like right next me; we even at one point, reached for the same weights, in which I told her she could go first. I noticed she had some really artsy, cool tattoos along her forearm and hand. They were tastefully done, feminine, and artistic. I was intrigued, and I kind of wanted to see them closer. I’m jonesin for another tattoo and her tattoo placement was right up my alley. I waited until she finished her set and was like” hey, your tats are super cool looking, I’m wanting another one myself, what does yours say?”

I immediately regretted asking, because I knew right away she was put off. I’m thinking in my head, wtf? I just gave you a compliment, bitch, don’t look at me like I’m hitting on you. I suppose the environment wasn’t ideal. We were in the women’s only section of the gym, and I didn’t exactly looked my most feminine. Still though, if any person compliments you, it totally doesn’t mean you’re getting hit on, so just chill your grill. She gave me a meek half smile, and said thanks. I didn’t push when she didn’t say anything further and went back to working out.


I love it when I get compliments, I mean, who doesn’t?  Compliments mean you’re doing something right and it’s working for you. Be happy you’re being noticed in a positive way. And let me be clear, I’m not saying there aren’t creepers out there, but read your audience people, and stop flattering yourself. There’s this thing called socialization, for cried Pete, it’s where us humans interact with one another and shit.



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